I Know You're Alone
by terraXbbXFAN2
Summary: Rated for lemons and later swearing. Terra leaves. will she come home?
1. late night visitor

I know you're Alone

Authors note: loosely from "I Know You're Lonely" by Gannent but a Beast Boy Terra fic. I own nothing. I'm lucky to own the plot.

_I know what I've done is wrong. I've left my best friend and true love completely alone. I wonder if it would help him if he knew I was alone too. I've always been alone though, so completely alone in the darkness without anyone's hand to hold. That doesn't make things right though; just because I know loneliness doesn't mean he should. He's beautiful but I doubt he knows it. When he looks in a mirror he just sees fangs and green skin. When I look at him I see a beautiful, caring person with deep soulful eyes. As the years passed I watched as he turned from the short and scrawny boy I once knew to the strong and six foot tall man he is today. _

_ I wonder sometimes if I could ever go back. He visited me at my school once. I also see him as a crow near my window, watching over me to keep me safe. I always know it's him. Some people would be freaked out by this but not me, it's just Beast Boy showing over and over again how much he loves me. But just because he loves and forgives me doesn't automatically mean the others did too. I think I owe him to at least know that I remember. I'll be turning 18 in a week and I think I'll leave, just get as far away from here as possible. Tonight, when he comes to watch me, I'll tell him that I remember and I know who he is. I'll invite him in and I'll tell him the truth that I've tried so hard to keep. _

_I hear scratching and tapping at my window. It's a green dove. It's him. I walk over to the window and open it up. I put my hand out so that it could hop onto my finger and I can hold it. It hops on obediently, just proving that it's him. What wild dove would hop on a human's hand?_

"Beast Boy, I know it's you. I've always known. I remember everything and I'm truly sorry for all the lies and the secrets. I need to talk to you, please turn human." After the words left my mouth the dove flew off my hand and landed on my bed as Beast Boy.

"Terra, I forgive you. I always have. I love you." He walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders and then kisses me lightly on my lips. Once he pulls away he turns to look at my room. Its light blue with a dark blue around the edges and it has glue in the dark stars on the ceiling. It's very me, very Terra.

"I love you, Beast boy. I know I left you lost and lonely and I'm sorry. I need to tell you something though. I turn 18 in a week and I'm leaving. I'm not sure where but I can't stay here. You'll get over me and find someone else. I just couldn't leave without you knowing the truth. I will always love you but I need to go and move on. I'll be going to college in the fall and I'll be leaving anyways." I said everything with tears in my eyes. He pulled me in closer to him as I rested my head on his should and cried.

_After a half hour of crying and cuddling he tilted my chin up to capture my lips in the most perfect kiss of my life. This kisses continued in a more urgent matter and I leaned back against my pillows and he straddled my waist. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that this was too much too fast but I didn't care, this was just us. He continued to hold me, his hands going up and down my waist and over my breasts. The contact made me gasp against his lips. This gave him the access and courage to slip his tongue in my mouth and dance with mine. Every second that went on I could feel my control on my body getting weaker. His was gone. I felt his erection rubbing against my thin pajama bottoms. I reached down to take off his shirt, which he happily agreed to and to make it even, he took of mine too. Since I was already braless, my chest was bare and gave him the perfect opportunity to start kissing my neck and breasts. His tongue made contact with my nipple and I moaned loudly. I was very happy my adoptive parents were gone for the weekend. I wanted his lips on mine again so I'm put my hands underneath his arms and pulled him back up to my face. He looked longingly into my eyes. I knew then that I was going to lose my virginity tonight. Of course I was nervous, but it was Beast Boy, I loved him. I reached down to put my hand down his pants and I took his length to stroke him gently. All of this was purely instinct; this was the furthest I have ever gone. I had always wanted him to be my first and now he would be. _

_Beast boy moaned as I continued to stoke him. He soon removed my hand and took of his pants. He put my arms above my head and pulled my pants off as well. As he did this, he never once broke eye contact like he was waiting for me to stop him but I never will. Once my pants were removed he laid down so he was facing me and we were side by side. His hands were underneath my head and on my waist. I felt loved and cherished and happy. I moved my hand to start stroking him again as he moved his to be in-between my legs. His fingers were rubbing against my sex as it grew wetter and wetter. He moved the cloth of my underwear to the side to put a finger in me, but I stopped him. I only stopped him so I could pull off my panties. _

_His face looked shocked. He hadn't expected me to be so forward. This shocked face went away as he drew my mouth back towards his. He continued to finger me and I stroked him. Within minutes I felt him explode in my hand. I knew what I had done to him. At that moment we stopped. Just laid there, enjoying each other's company. _

"I love you." He whispered and he pulled me impossibly closer to him. "Terra, angel, you don't need to go any further with me."

"I know, but I love you too, and I want you to be my first. I don't know if this is your first too, but I at least want you to be mine." I replied to him my whisper barely heard in the dark.

"It would be my first too. I couldn't imagine it with anyone else."

_I felt his lips going back to mine. The ecstasy that was there before was now ten times stronger. My lips felt like they were on fire. I loved this feeling and I loved this boy. I ran my hands up and down his stomach causing him to giggle a little from the sensation. He pulled away from me when I pulled off his boxer shorts. I simply nodded so he would know that this was okay. We continued to kiss for another five minutes and then he felt hard enough. He grabbed a condom from his pants pocket and rolled it onto himself. He brought my hips down to his when he got on top of me. He was still giving me time to back out. I just leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss to tell him to go. _

_And he went. It hurt, a lot. It was like a thousand beating by Slade. I cried out in pain and Beast boy held me while I tried to adjust to him. He was gentle and kissed away my tears the poured from my eyes and onto my cheeks._

"I'm sorry, Terra." Beast boy whispered with the obvious regret in his voice.

"It's okay. Just keep going." I answered. I felt him nod in response.

_It wasn't magical until I hit an orgasm but even then it was painful. I didn't get any enjoyment out of it. I knew it was because it was my first time and that it would get better. He enjoyed himself, I could tell. Every moan vibrated my lips. _

"Honey, are you okay." Beast boy asked as he hugged me close to him.

"Yeah." It was obvious that I wasn't. I was crying and he heard it in my voice.

"It'll be okay, Terra. I'm here with you. I love you."

"I love you too."

_I curled into him and slept soundly until 10 the next morning. And I was glad it was summer. _


	2. the morning after and a birthday

I know you're Alone

Author's note: loosely from "I Know You're Lonely" by Gannent but a Beast Boy Terra fic. I own nothing. I'm lucky to own the plot.

_I wake up next to Beast boy and I feel his warmth surround me. Everything was perfect. Well it was perfect, and then I remembered what we did last night. I didn't regret doing it. I just felt bad since I was going to be leaving after I turned 18. _

_ I thought back to what we did last night. It was beautiful and perfect, well as far as a first time goes. It hurt really terribly and I wasn't able to enjoy it much. But, Beast boy enjoyed it so I felt better about myself. I was able to make the one I love feel fantastic. I cuddled closer to him and I nuzzled into his neck. I soon heard him suck in a deep breath, telling me that he woke up. _

"Good morning, beautiful girl." He whispered into my ear.

"Good morning." I whispered back.

"Terra, you seem upset."

"Well, I just feel different. Beast boy, I just want you to know that this doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving when I'm turn 18. I love you but I need to go for myself. I need to go to college to be me. I'll miss you but it's the right thing to do."

"I know. I love you but I'll let you go. I just hope that you'll come back to me when you can. I'll always be here for you. I'm just glad that I was your first and you were mine." Beast boy's eyes started to water and I felt mine start to water too. This was a sad and emotional day.

"Beast Boy, I think you should go. Before this becomes hard then it has to be." I said to him while trying to hold back sobs but failing miserably.

"Okay. I love you."

"And I love you. Always."

_ He kissed me on my forehead and started getting dressed. Soon he turned back into the green dove that he was when he came to me last night. I went back to my bed and curled up against the pillow that he slept with last night. I just wanted to feel close to him again. I knew he couldn't stay with me any longer, it would get too hard. I didn't feel like myself any longer. I felt different. I knew I had lost my virginity so that part of my life was over. I feel like maybe I shouldn't go, but I know that in the long run, this is for the best. And that's what I have to keep telling myself, this is for the best. _

_*****A week later*****_

_ Today was my birthday. I was turning 18 at 5:34 pm. I had been packing and getting everything together for this whole past week. I had shipped some of it to my dorm room so the plane ride to New York would be easier. I would just take a suitcase onto the plane the rest was already there. It's not like I had much to pack. I got out of my bed and started to make my way downstairs._

"Happy Birthday, Tara!" I heard my adoptive family shout. My mom and dad and sister all stood around the table topped with chocolate pancakes and lots of presents, this was very new for me. I looked at all of them and couldn't help but smile. This was so nice and it was all hard to take in. My memories from when I was a little kid were never like this. Birthdays weren't celebrated in my old home, it was just another day.

"Thanks you guys, this is all so fantastic."

_I sat down and ate my pancakes, afterwards I opened my presents. My mom and dad had gotten me a laptop. And my little sister had made me a pretty friendship bracelet. I thanked them profusely. I then brought the things up to my room so I could start getting ready for work and made sure I had all my plane tickets and boarding passes in order for tomorrow. When I looked at my bed, I noticed a small white note taped to a stack of presents. I sat down and read it. _

'_Terra,_

_I've always loved you and always will. _

_I want to let you know that I'm here for you and when you find yourself, come back to me._

_I'll always be yours. No one can ever take your place. _

_That night we shared together a week ago was truly amazing and I meant everything I said that night_

_You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I'll never forget you._

_Love always,_

_Garfield Logan (Beast Boy)'_

_ I just sat there and I cried. Through my tears I was able to open my presents. One was the heart shaped box I had left behind with my butterfly clip inside it. Another was a picture of all the titans. Starfire got me a gorgeous red dress that looked to be my size. Raven gave me a book on controlling emotions and meditation. Cyborg gave me a rape whistle and pepper spray. And Robin gave me an ipod since I used to always steal his whenever I worked out. There was also a communicator for in case I needed them. The last small gift was a ring from Beast boy. Inside the box there was a little note. _

'_I promise to love you forever.'_

_ I knew instantly that it was a promise ring and not an engagement ring. I held the communicator to my chest and start to cry harder. This still changed nothing. I had to go. I needed to explore and have another adventure. College would be my adventure. I quickly took a shower, got dressed and I went to work. Little did she know, a little green dove was watching her as she cried. _


	3. a surprise

I know you're Alone

Author's note: loosely from "I Know You're Lonely" by Gannent but a Beast Boy Terra fic. I own nothing. I'm lucky to own the plot.

_It's been a week since I left for New York City. I was sitting in my dorm room and I thought back to the plane ride. I had been watching the movie on the plane and it was a cheesy chick flick. This is the type I normally hated but the plot was a lot like how Beast boy, I mean Gar, and I are. The girl ran away from true love for her own reasons and then later committed suicide because she couldn't stand to be away from him since he had committed suicide as well. They were star- crossed lovers who wanted nothing more than to be together. Gar and I were star- crossed lovers but I don't think that suicide is in the plans for us. _

_ In this week, I haven't been eating much. I know that I've lost weight, but I don't really care that much, if anything it was a just a pound or two._

_My roommate was nice enough. She moved in about an hour before I did. Luckily she let my have the top bunk. Her name was Elizabeth and she was beautiful. Her blue green eyes were big and beautiful. She had dark hair that framed her pale face. She was beautiful, there was no denying it. _

_My classes were okay. None of them were too hard for me. I was just depressed all the time. I'm sure that people around me questioned if I had always been like this but no one has tried to talk to me, well Elizabeth did after classes on a Friday night before she left to go home for the weekend. _

"Terra is everything okay or are you always this quiet and sad looking?" She has curiously.

"Well, about a week before I left to come to NYU I lost virginity. I wasn't dating him but I had loved him for years and he loved me also. It was his first time too. I just miss him and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing by being here. I'm going to stick it out for a little while longer though. I can't just run back. I need to get over him." I answered.

"What was his name?"  
"Garfield Logan."

"That's a very interesting name. You don't hear it everyday."

"Yeah I know. Look, I'm fine. Have a good time at your sister's birthday party." I told her since I could see that she was contemplating staying to make sure I was okay.

_She nodded in her response and grabbed her bags and left. I only ate an apple all that weekend and I cried myself to sleep every night. She came back late Sunday night to find me already asleep. When I woke up she hugged me and asked how I was doing. I told her I was fine but deep inside, I was so utterly alone._

****Beast Boy in Jump City****

_It's been a week since Terra left. She didn't know it but I borrowed Cyborg's holographic rings so I could watch her get on her plane. I followed her to the airport and I bought a ticket so I could make sure she was safe. Once I saw her make it to NYU I left and I hated leaving. This week has been hard; luckily no one was bothering to attack the city. Sure we had a Dr. Light thing but well he wasn't a real threat considering Raven scare the fuck out of him. _

_I haven't been sleeping well now that Terra's gone. I haven't visited her. It was better if I didn't because that would just make everything more painful. I had Bumblebee check up on her every so often just so I could no she was safe._

_And she was safe. But she was losing weight and she was crying a lot. Days passed and Bumble bee told me that she was throwing up and she was now seeing a psychologist. I'm not sure if she told anyone about what we did a week before she left. It doesn't matter if she did or not but maybe she should talk to someone about it and how she feels. I only talked to Cyborg about it. He told me that it was normal for both of us to be in pain after spending time being that intimate with each other and then one of us just leaving. It's nice to know something about me is normal. _

My communicator buzzed and I saw Bumble bee's face show up, "Hey Bee, what's up?"

"It's your girl. Her belly is looking kind of swollen. And she's puking more. She's started to eat more now though." Bee looked like there was something else to say.

"Nice to know, is she okay?"

"Yeah, it's just… Beast boy… I saw her take a pregnancy test… and well there's no easy way to say this. It was positive. Did you two do anything before she left?"

"We lost our virginity to each other but I was safe."

"Well, did the condom break?"

"I think… crap it did."

"Then why the fuck are you still in Jump? Get your green butt to NYU and talk to her. Don't let her know I told you though, she'll tell you on her own." With that she signed off. I sighed and went to go see Cyborg.

"Dude, I have a problem." I started tapping my fingers together and looking nervous.

"What is it?" he wonders.

"Well, I've been having Bumble bee look after Terra while she's in New York and she said that Terra took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

After staring at me for a good few minutes he punched me in the face. "You didn't use a condom?"

"It broke." I was really scared. Terra was a little sister to him, so her being hurt meant I got hurt.

"Get your ass to NYU now! You will talk to her and you will bring her back here. How long has it been now since you two gave it up to each other?"

"About a month. I'm leaving though, right now. Can I borrow those hollo rings again?"

_He just throws them to me and I instantly turn into a bird and fly off. I flew hours until I got to her dorm. Behind it I quickly changed back to me and put the rings on. I was turned from green to blonde in a matter of seconds. I looked like a normal 18 year old boy. I walked into her dorm and went to her room and knocked at the door. _

*Terra's POV*

_I heard knocking on my door and wondered who it would be since Elizabeth was in a class right now. I had just taken the pregnancy test and it was positive. I was sitting alone crying. _

"Who is it?" I call out.

"Garfield Logan." The answer was a shock to me. What was he doing here? I got up and opened the door. He hugged me as soon as he walked in.

"What are you doing here and why do you look so different?"

"I came to see you and I borrowed Cyborg's holographic rings so I looked normal when I came to see you." He looked nervous. "How's everything going Terra?"

"I'm alright but I'm glad you came. I was about to call you to tell you something but I think it's better to do it in person. Gar, honey, I'm pregnant."

"Wow. Okay. What can I do?"

"Not hate me."

"Terra, I love you. I could never hate you. You are beautiful and smart and funny and the strongest girl I've ever met and that includes Starfire." He looked down at my ring finger. "It makes me really happy you're wearing that ring I gave you."

"It's beautiful and I love it."

"Terra, I want to turn that promise ring into an engagement ring. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course I will."

"Will you come home with me?"

"I'll pack my stuff."

_For the rest of the day we packed my things into boxes and bags and shipped everything back to Titan's tower. Gar and I bought plane tickets and went back to Jump City. Everything was how it was supposed to be and neither of us were lonely. _


	4. the end

I know you're Alone

A/N: This story is now complete and I hope you all enjoyed it. I wanted to let you all know that I will be writing a sequel. I should have the first chapter of it up tonight or tomorrow. I'm calling it "You'll never be lonely."


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